Without my knowledge, a young adult illegally drove away from my home late one night. Shortly after she left, she called frantically from a few streets away, asking me to pick her up and drive her home.

An officer had stopped her because her vehicle matched the description of one being driven by a criminal. They quickly realized she wasn’t the person they needed to apprehend; however, after running her plates, they discovered that her license had been suspended due to a two-years-old, unpaid speeding ticket from another state.

This story does not end well.

The officer handcuffed her, planning to make an arrest. She managed to talk her way out of further consequences by pledging to leave her car on the street and promising that a friend living nearby would drive her home. Though she avoided jail, this problem created a domino effect in her life, and she was ultimately unable to get the job she wanted at a nonprofit organization.

This young woman is a good person, but due to traumatic family circumstances beyond her control, she had to navigate her transition into adulthood mostly on her own. Her story is tragic, because as parents, it’s our job to help our children thrive as they transition through all levels of their development, from infancy to adulthood.

Though we don’t know exactly what’s ahead for our kids, we can focus on helping them become self-sufficient now by teaching them 12 foundational life skills that will help them find success as adults.

Self-Management Skills

Knowing how to manage themselves helps your student become a team player at work and in life, making them a good leader, valued employee, cherished friend, and disciplined individual. Self-management can be taught by helping your student be fully present, build self awareness, have integrity, and make wise choices based on good values.

These skills make it easier to resist impulsive behavior in favor of doing what we truly believe is right, even if that “right thing” doesn’t come naturally. They require exchanging habits that don’t support your student’s values and adopting better habits that do, aligning their lifestyle now with the behavior that will help them succeed as adults.

1. Being fully present

This starts with showing up—coming to work, classes, and social meetings on time. Young adults and teens belong to the most connected yet socially isolated generation in history. As concerned parents, we need to give our students clear steps for turning virtual connections into real-life relationships.

But being physically present is only the first step. Your student also needs to be attentive, participating mentally and emotionally: making eye contact with speakers rather than tinkering with their phones; paying attention to what is being said rather than getting lost in their own thoughts; contributing helpfully to a conversation rather than changing the subject or making the conversation about themselves.

2. Being self aware

Self-aware people know what they are thinking, feeling, saying, and doing in real time. Internal monitoring is a difficult skill to learn, so periodically check in with your student about what they think or feel (without making any judgements). Simply reflect their thoughts and feelings back to them and let them determine how to proceed.

Pause the conversation with, “We are talking about ‘X.' How does that make you feel? What are your thoughts about ‘X’?” Help your student understand that feelings and thoughts are neutral. It’s the actions taken on unevaluated thoughts and feelings that cause trouble.

3. Having integrity

An old military handbook taught new recruits that integrity means knowing the wrong things to do, knowing the right things to do, and selecting the best right action even when no one is watching.

Integrity means that your student knows a range of possible behaviors and responses to their feelings—not just the “good” ones—and can decide for themselves which behavior or response best serves the situation.

4. Making value-based decisions

Values are what we believe to be most important in work and life. Our actions leave clues about what we truly value—not just what we say we value—because we subconsciously base all of our decisions on underlying values. Taking the time to help your student discover their values can help them become a stronger decision-maker. They’ll immediately be able to determine if a choice they’re making or a behavior they’re practicing truly aligns with what they believe is most important.

Relational Competency Skills

Strong relationships boost our mood, help us grow, and provide support when we need it. That’s why it’s vital for young adults to know how to make friends and keep relationships healthy. As parents, we need to remember that our students must be well-rounded in their relational skills. Participating in one-on-one relationships, small groups, meetings, and public speaking all require distinct connecting skills. It’s helpful for our students to know how to engage with others in each context.

The following practices build civility and relational savvy, which are desperately needed in our volatile times.

5. Keeping social commitments

Like self-management, relationships call for being present with others. As parents, we can ensure that our students have plenty of opportunities to interact with others face-to-face by allowing them to join shared-interest clubs, attend gatherings, and meet with peers one-on-one or in small groups. As your student becomes known in these groups, encourage them to make and keep social commitments and to look for outsiders they can invite to their groups.

6. Communicating

Being physically present is a good start, but without proper communication teens are unlikely to develop meaningful relationships. Many of our teens and young adults conduct the bulk of their relationships virtually, a few lines of text at a time. Online mediums are great for supporting robust relationships or making introductions, but if our students do not meet often enough in real life, their relationships turn anemic.

To help students improve their face-to-face communication skills, develop a list of open-ended questions that spark conversation. Memorizing these questions can help make students comfortable starting the kind of conversations that can turn strangers into friends.

7. Accepting people

Meeting new people presents challenges beyond just knowing how to converse. As your student leaves home and the familiar social connections, they’ll interact with people who have views and opinions that differ from their own.

Search your network for people who challenge your own perspective. Invite these relationships to come closer to you and your student, especially if you’ve been holding them at arm’s length. Encourage your student to ask questions and show interest. Afterwards, talk to your student about these differing perspectives, demonstrating empathy and acceptance for people who may not share your point of view.

8. Resolving conflicts

Your student needs to know how to handle disagreements without falling apart or burning bridges.

Clashes like this are most likely to occur when agendas collide or as a result of wrongdoing. One of my mentors trained his teams in conflict resolution by sharing various true conflict scenarios from his own experience. When telling his stories, he omitted how he resolved the crisis, then asked us to explain how we would handle the situation.

In the presence of competing agendas, it is best to seek an outcome in which everyone is heard, problems are solved, and everyone wins. When someone is wronged, it’s best to pursue forgiveness, and if the wrong-doing was very serious or harmful, restorative justice.

Resilience Skills

Your student will inevitably deal with failure and adversity in life. The question is: will they be defeated or will they allow those hardships to foster growth?

Recent studies on resilience demonstrates that the qualities of resilience are learned, rather than innate; and they are best cultivated before hard times hit. Those qualities are hope, a sense of purpose, self-care, and a solutions orientation.

9. Being Hopeful

Hope recognizes that things can (and will) get better. A hopeful person keeps problems in perspective without minimizing them. Stimulate hope in your student by encouraging them to practice gratitude. Remaining conscious of and thankful for everyday blessings helps them consistently focus on silver linings in the storms of life.

Similarly, reviewing their personal history of ups-and-downs leads to an outlook that believes adversity is temporary. Even in ongoing hardship, like a chronic health problem, you bounce back by finding your “new normal,” moving out of crisis mode into stasis. Ultimately, hope addresses your will and says, “Don’t give up.”

10. Having a sense of purpose

Purpose drives us toward a better future. In good and bad times, your student will find it easier to get out of bed in the morning when they focus their mental and physical energy toward something greater than themselves.

A psychologist from the University of Michigan, Dr. Kent Berridge, located the brain’s center for motivation. This region connects feelings of delight, desire, and dread. Exploring these three emotional responses can be a powerful tool for helping your student discover a sense of purpose.

• Delight. With your student, pinpoint productive activities that bring enjoyment. (Things that improve their skills, make them feel challenged, and cause them to lose a sense of time.)

• Desire. Ask your student what activities they want to do so much that they’d give up other pleasurable activities to do it.

• Dread. Ask your student about activities they try to avoid. (Public speaking, being outside, caring for animals, math…)

Desire and delight focus in on what their purpose is, and dread distinguishes what their purpose isn’t.

11. Practicing self-care

Good self-care means your student builds routines that meet their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs: exercise, nutrition and hygiene, religious practices, sunshine and fresh air, nurturing supportive relationships, and adequate sleep. Cultivating these practices in stable times makes it more likely that your student will keep up the good habits under stress, when strong health is most needed.

12. Being solutions-oriented

Even though life features peaks and valleys, plummeting fortunes take us by surprise, and we find ourselves floundering. Being inclined to look for solutions, however, helps us recover our footing more quickly because it points us to our next steps. This mindset means your student views problems as challenges to which a solution can be found. And this feeds hope.

Foster an environment in which problem-solving is championed. A solutions-oriented mindset requires creativity, a willingness to experiment, perseverance, and being unafraid to fail. (Which means we as parents shouldn’t hurry to rescue our students or solve problems for them. Instead, give them the space to work out their own solutions as you cheer them on.)

One final note: regardless of how prepared your student is, they need the confidence to know they can manage adulthood.

Despite how competent this generation’s young adults are, they can paradoxically feel unprepared for adulthood. They’re anxious, and many have an inflated sense of the impact missteps might have on their future. They worry about failing themselves and disappointing their loved ones.

Give your student opportunities to fail now, when the stakes are low. If they make a mistake, gracefully help them understand that the world didn’t end. Things will get better. Reassure them that your love for them does not hinge living an error-free life.

In the end, you’re not looking for perfection. You’re just trying to help your student make the transition from dependence to independence as gracefully as possible.

Outside of handing out life advice on our blog, Pearson Accelerated Pathways offers unique ways for students to attend college, whatever their life circumstances. Through our programs, students can get online college credit on a schedule that works for them and is guaranteed to transfer into the school of their choice. When you combine that with our custom advising, Pearson Accelerated Pathways is a good option for your student to succeed in college.

College is the automatically-assumed next step for any high school graduate hoping to live a white-collar lifestyle. It’s your training ground to gain the skills and credentials you need to start a career, build a life, and—quite literally—graduate into adulthood. But there’s still one major hurdle standing between you and college graduation: money.

Averaging $101,160 in total cost, college is a tad expensive. (And that’s just estimating public, 4-year, in-state colleges, which are significantly cheaper than private or out-of-state options.) Fortunately, loans are there to help. Think of student loan debt like an investment: you’re borrowing money to pay for a degree so you can get a good job after you graduate. Once you’ve got the job (read: are finally making money of your own), that’s when you’ll go back and pay off the loan. See how that worked?

Borrow money, get degree, get job, pay off loans. That’s the plan. And at first blush, it seems like a good one. Operating just like a business loan, home mortgage, car loan, or any other form of debt, getting a student loan seems simple and straightforward.

However, taking on student loan debt is a lot more complicated than borrowing a couple bucks from a friend. And it’s all these little complexities that carry the potential for financial destruction.

5 Consequences of Student Loan Debt

1. You have no idea if you can actually pay it back.

Student loans may sound simple, but let’s not forget about the context here:

• The average student’s loan debt is $37,172; over a year’s salary for many. (We’ll assume the other $63,988 is paid for via grants, scholarships, or out-of-pocket funding.)

• The average borrower is 18 years old.

• The average 18-year-old has never actually worked in the field they’re interested in pursuing post-graduation. In fact, many have never worked at all.

On top of that, attending college is not a guarantee that you’ll get hired in your desired career, or that you’ll get a job that pays well, or that you’ll get hired at all. It’s not even a guarantee you’ll finish (33% of students drop out before earning their bachelor’s).

Bottom line: college isn’t a magic bullet. It—like the debt you use to pay for it—is an investment. And an investment is not a guarantee.

But borrowing $30,000 with no clear idea of how you’ll pay that money back isn’t even an investment. It’s a serious financial risk. Especially when you consider that...

2. Interest compounds daily.

Student loans collect interest at an average rate of 5.8%. When this process starts depends on the type of loan you take out. (Some loans begin collecting interest directly after signing the dotted line, and some give you a grace period of 6 months after leaving school. You can read more about that here.) What’s important is that once a student loan does begin gathering interest, that interest compounds daily. This means every day, the loaner calculates 5.8% interest on the remaining principal loan amount, or if your loan has been capitalized, the total amount owed—collected interest and all. Not a good situation for you.

So if you borrowed $30,000, the day your loan begins collecting interest you’d owe an extra $4.77. The next day, you’d owe $9.54. After a month, if you made no progress paying off your loan, you will have tacked on at least $143 in interest. And this process will continue daily until your debt is paid in full. The best-case scenario (not a single missed payment) leaves you paying a total of $9,600 in collected interest on top of your original $30,000 loan amount.

3. Student loan payments pay off interest first.

So now you owe a minimum of $330 per month* for the next decade. Not a great situation, but it’s not unbearable either… except that your car just broke down and you had to use every last cent of this month’s paycheck fixing it or else risk not getting any more paychecks.

Now you can’t afford to make a full student loan payment this month, but you did manage to scrounge up $100 from the recesses of your bank account. It’s better than nothing, but you were also already a little (okay, a lot) behind on your payments. You’ve collected a lot of unpaid interest, and since your payments go to pay off interest first, that $100 doesn't even touch the principal amount at this point. Your unchanged loan amount will simply continue generating more interest at the same rate until you can manage to make up those behind-schedule payments… and all the extra interest they’re costing you.

4. You’re stuck with your student loan debt—no matter what.

But the real kicker for student loans is the fact that they never “go away.”

When someone takes out a loan to buy a house or car, often they have to offer some kind of collateral—some proof that they’re guaranteed to pay off that loan or the bank gets to repossess that item.

But a bank can’t exactly repossess your bachelor’s degree. So, if you fail to pay your debt, even filing for bankruptcy isn’t enough to cancel future payments. That debt will follow you, ever-increasing, until you pay it off or die.

5. In the end, student loan debt costs a lot more than just money.

Consider that what we’ve been talking about up to this point is the average student’s experience.

What if you need to borrow more than $30,000 to pay for college? What if you don’t get a 5.4% interest rate, but end up with 7% or 11%? What if you aren’t able to get a job at all for the first few months after college, or your loan ends up capitalized (collecting interest on top of interest)?

Turns out, most students aren’t able to pay back their loans in the 11 years they’re expected to. It actually takes them 21. That’s 21 years of living with a debt payment every month. 21 years of gaining interest every day. 21 years of growing expenses (a lot of life happens between the ages of 18 and 39), leaving less and less of your paycheck free for student loan payments.

Not to mention how student loan debt is affecting students’ lives in some pretty noticeable (and serious) ways beyond the pure numbers. Their debt is keeping them from moving out, buying houses, getting married, having kids, and starting businesses. It’s forcing many to work high-paying jobs they don’t actually enjoy simply because they need that job’s salary. Or, worse, they work low-paying jobs that won’t cover their loan payments, sinking them further and further into debt.

Some students are so weighed down by the emotional baggage of their ever-increasing debt (on top of the emotional baggage that comes simply with growing up) that they experience severe negative health symptoms or, in the case of this student, even contemplate suicide.**

But, maybe I’m just being pessimistic. That probably won’t be you, right? Your parents make decent money, and you’re pretty smart! You’ll probably get a scholarship or two, and you’ll be able to graduate with minimal debt at worst… right?

Wrong.

You’re Not The Exception.

Everyone thinks they’re the exception. Everyone thinks student debt happens to other people. Everyone thinks they’ll get the scholarship, the grant, the endowment, or some other magical solution that will send them to college on someone else’s tab.

And it’s true, some students are the exception. But you’re better off assuming you aren’t one of them.

First off, most scholarships aren’t enough to cover all your college costs. Not only are these awards difficult to attain, but the vast majority of them are a few hundred to a couple thousand bucks. Now, $1,000 isn’t a bad haul, but you’ll need 99 more of those if you want to cover your $100,000 bill entirely in scholarships.

So unless you’re so smart, so unique, or so good at sports that colleges want to pay you to attend their school, it’s highly unlikely you’ll be able to go to college on scholarships alone.

But what about financial aid? That’s free too, right?

Yes and no. Some financial aid is free money—specifically the Pell Grant or a school-sponsored, needs-based scholarship (fancy speak for “a discounted tuition rate”).

But here’s the thing about grants and needs-based scholarships: if you (or your parents) make over $50,000 a year, you don’t stand a chance of getting them. The more money your family makes, the less the government and schools want to help you.

And the rest of your financial aid options? Those are just loans. Not free at all.

This leaves the majority of college students in what we call the Debt Zone: that awkward spot where you don’t earn enough to pay for college out-of-pocket (typically more than $200,000), but also aren’t poor enough to qualify for aid (less than $50,000).

If your family income falls between these two numbers and you don’t have some other crazy exception, then you’re in the Debt Zone. That leaves you and 45 million other students with a choice: take on student debt or don’t go to college.

While there are some circumstances in which taking out student loans for college is both necessary and helpful, especially for students pursuing high-demand, high-paying fields, like medicine or engineering, our opinion is that taking out student loans to pay for college is a dangerous move, especially if you don’t know what you want to do with your life afterward.

Fortunately, college doesn’t have to be a debt sentence.

If you’re stuck in the Debt Zone, but you’re really not excited about living under the immense financial and psychological weight of student debt, then I have good news for you. There’s still a way for you to earn a bachelor’s degree debt free.

The secret isn’t to find “free money” somewhere else to cover the immense cost of college. The secret is to make college affordable by cutting out the “extras” and focusing on exactly what you need to graduate. That’s what we do at Accelerated Pathways.

Every day, we help students who are stuck in the Debt Zone find more affordable paths to their bachelor’s degree. Our students are able to:

• Compare their best college options to find the best one that fits their life and budget

• Take classes that won’t break the bank

• Pay for college one course at a time (instead of in one lump sum)

• Choose online classes with the flexibility to fit around a full-time job or other life priorities

You remember that $30,000 loan we talked about earlier? That’s how much we can help students save by lowering their overall costs, removing the need to take out loans altogether.

Interested in learning more about how Accelerated Pathways can help you escape the Debt Zone, pay for college in cash, and graduate debt free? Check out our website to learn more.

*An estimation of your principal loan payment and your monthly interest payment.

**The attached reference contains political opinions unique to the author, not endorsed by Accelerated Pathways. (We’re just interested in the story.)

Originally, this article was going to be titled “Why I Love Starbucks.” As a former barista, I can say the company was good to me. Not only did I get cheap health insurance, great hours, and a flexible schedule, but I got something that really helped me graduate college debt-free: tuition reimbursement.

Yes, Starbucks gave me money to go to college. 

It wasn’t much, but $1,000 goes a long way in saving you from college debt. Between my paycheck, tuition reimbursement, Pearson Accelerated Pathways savings, and some money from my parents (which I quickly paid back), I was able to graduate without a single student loan hanging over my head.

I could wax poetic, proclaiming the virtues of Starbucks—why it’s the perfect job for a college student, especially an Accelerated Pathways student—but I’ll save that for another post.

For now, it’s time to get smart about your job. 

What Are Tuition Reimbursement Programs?

Simply put, tuition reimbursement programs are an employee benefit in which an employer agrees to pay a set amount of your educational expenses. Some companies hand out big bucks to employees, while others just pay a few hundred dollars toward school. Others offer scholarships to their employees’ children. The programs vary, so you’ll want to take some time and research your options. 

How Do Tuition Reimbursement Programs Work?

You’ll want to remember that each company’s reimbursement program works differently. For example, Starbucks’ program allows students to pursue any major offered by ASU Online. Other companies, such as BP, offer assistance only to employees who pursue opportunities that benefit both the employee and the company. The bottom line is this: if you’re an aspiring pastry chef, for example, and accept a job at a financial services firm because it has a great tuition reimbursement program, you’ll want to make sure the program actually covers culinary school.

10 Companies Offering Tuition Reimbursement

If you want to graduate college debt-free, you’ll have to work hard. Below is a list of 10 companies that offer full or partial educational assistance. 

1.  Apple

Apple provides employees with unspecified reimbursement toward approved educational expenses, including tuition. Career opportunities are available in their retail centers, in customer support, software services, design, and marketing.d.  

2. BP

BP’s tuition assistance program reimburses eligible employees up to 90% of their vocational and educational expenses, provided the employee receives approval before registering for the course. BP offers employment for students, recent graduates, and experienced professionals in communications, external affairs, engineering, ethics, and compliance, to name a few. 

3. Discover

Discover offers fully-paid, online bachelor’s degrees to U.S.-based part-time, flex-time and full-time employees. Tuition is pre-paid directly to the university. Expenditures for books, supplies and other qualified fees are reimbursed. Individuals interested in working at Discover can apply for jobs in account support, financial services, cardmember services, and other departments. 

4. Disney

Disney pays 100% of tuition to Disney Aspire network schools. Hourly, part-time and full-time employees are eligible to participate in the program. The company employs theme park staff, software engineers, accountants, animation experts, sales associates, and a variety of other professionals.

5. Home Depot

Home Depot offers tuition reimbursement of up to $6,000 per year for career-relevant education and pays up to $2,500 reimbursement per year for employees’ immediate family members. Employment opportunities are available at the company’s retail stores and corporate office.  

6. Lowe’s

Lowe’s provides up to $2,500 in tuition reimbursement per fiscal year for full-time employees who have been employed with the organization for more than 12 months. Similar to Home Depot, employment opportunities are available at both their corporate and retail locations.  

7. Nike

Nike’s continuous learning benefits vary based on location, however tuition reimbursement programs are available through a variety of educational programs. Nike hires staff for numerous positions, such as sales associate, technical product manager, and data analyst. 

8. Starbucks

Starbucks offers 100% tuition coverage for part-time and full-time employees toward first-time online bachelor degrees through Arizona State’s University. Positions are available at both their retail locations and its corporate office.  

9. Target

Target provides tuition reimbursement for all exempt and some non-exempt employees toward approved undergraduate, graduate, and MBA coursework. Annual program caps are set at $3,000 for undergraduate tuition, $4,000 per year toward graduate tuition, and $5,250 per year toward MBA tuition. Target offers positions in areas, such as in store management, merchandising, customer support, shipping, and human resources.  

10. Verizon Wireless

Verizon Wireless offers tuition assistance to part-time employees, full-time employees and their family members. Their VZTAP program reimburses up to $8,000 per year for full-time staff and up to $4,000 per year for part-time staff. However,  employees who pursue their degrees through Belleview University receive additional benefits. Under their joint partnership agreement, full-time Verizon employees who attend Bellevue University receive up to $13,250 per year, part-time employees receive up to $8,000 per year, and their family members may receive up to $2,500 per year. Verizon offers positions in sales, marketing technology, account management, customer support, supply chain logistics, and other departments. 

Save Money No Matter Where You Work

“But wait,” you may say. “I already have a job, and it’s not with one of these companies! What about me?”

Never fear—there are always options for saving money on college, no matter where you work!

If you’ve already got a job, ask your employer about tuition reimbursement. Your company may have a program you simply don’t know about.

And if you’re really interested in living the debt-free lifestyle, consider completing college through an affordable college program such as Accelerated Pathways. Accelerated Pathways is an exciting way to approach your college education—one that doesn’t tie you down with a location, schedule, or debt—giving you more freedom and flexibility than any traditional college campus has to offer.

Click here to learn more about how Accelerated Pathways saves you time and money on your bachelor’s degree, no matter where you work.

Want to read more? Try these...

• Student Loan Debt: The Realities, The Consequences, and How It Will Affect You

• How to Find Online Classes While You’re Social Distancing

• 12 Life Skills to Teach Your Student Before They Leave Home