I have a confession to make: I don’t have a bachelor’s degree.

I know, I know. I’ve been working for Pearson—a company that literally exists to help put students through college—for over 6 years now. What excuse could I possibly have for not having my degree?

Listen… I’m totally in favor of people becoming more educated, developing wisdom, growing up, and participating in the privilege of higher education. I even participated myself for a while! I completed 96 credits of my 120-credit English degree, thank you very much. Of course, those 96 credits are hardly comforting when all I have to show for it is... a high school diploma.

I had some very specific reasons for leaving school, though. First off, I was going through a very intense time in my personal life. I had a lot to deal with emotionally and mentally, and I was breaking under the pressure of managing school on top of that. But secondly, after taking a hard look at my interests and the direction of my career, I realized… I already had the job I wanted. I didn’t need a bachelor’s degree to get in the door. And I was much more interested in pouring my time and energy into my work than I was in spending another few thousand dollars to finish up a degree I would never use.

So, I dropped out. It’s been three years since then, and I’m still doing just fine.

My choice was a fairly controversial one. The term “college dropout” bears an unfortunate stigma, so friends and family tend to get skittish when you float the idea. And they have good reason to. The bachelor’s degree has kind of become the new high school diploma—a minimum barrier to entry into much of the workforce. The vast majority of employers expect you to have one.

Call me a rebel, but I’ve never been one to do something simply because it’s expected.

But don’t think my choice to skip the degree means I’m handing you a Get Out of Jail Free card. I’m not going to tell you what to do with your life or education. I just want to have a little chat about the realities of choosing a job over college.

1. Skipping college is a legitimate option.

Let’s just get one thing cleared up right away: jumping straight into the workforce after high school isn’t a bad idea in and of itself. I realize that going to college is the assumed next step for most of us, but it’s still a choice. Choosing not to doesn’t make you stupid, lazy, or unwise. There are a lot of reasons skipping might be the best choice for you.

For one thing, college is expensive. When a year of college can cost as much as a downpayment on a house, it’s worth being absolutely certain it’s the right path for you.

After all, graduating college isn’t the only way to start a career. Over 60% of U.S. jobs don’t require a bachelor’s degree. And a lot of those pay really well! If you’re interested in pursuing one of these fields, why spend time and energy earning a credential you don’t need?

Maybe you’re still interested in going because you want “the college experience.” I’ll give you that. Going to college does offer a lot of experience, not just within the classroom, but outside of it too. You get to live on your own, interact with people from other backgrounds, make choices (and mistakes) that teach you about yourself, the world, and life. But college isn’t the only way to get that experience.

Getting a job, meeting new people, serving, traveling, volunteering, getting married and having kids, taking up hobbies, starting a business—these are all great ways to engage in the myriad of non-scholastic opportunities life has to offer. None of them will earn you a credential, but they will make you more educated, wiser, and (hopefully) a better person.

And that’s great because, frankly, college just isn’t for everyone. Formal education is an amazing privilege, but not every learner thrives in the classroom environment. Plenty of students have difficulty fitting in with the structure of academic study. And for some people, that struggle is enough to snuff out their spark for learning. These folks often end up dropping out simply for the freedom of learning without a syllabus. 🙋🏻‍♀️

I’m not telling you any of this in order to discourage you from earning a bachelor’s degree. As I’ve mentioned already, I think college is a fantastic option for a great many people, especially those hoping to work in white-collar industries. I’m just saying that attending college shouldn’t be assumed.

2. You’re taking a risk.

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with skipping college, it’s not a decision you want to make lightly.

Bachelor’s degrees aren’t irrelevant. Many HR departments require applicants to hold one to even be considered for employment (whether or not the role requires such an education). Students who earn their bachelor’s degrees also tend to make more money than those who don’t. And while 60% of jobs may not require a degree… that means that 40% do.

Choosing not to earn your degree is definitely risky. So challenge your own decision. Ask yourself why you’re choosing a different path and carefully consider the consequences.

Perhaps your future career doesn’t require a degree. Cool. But what about the positions beyond the specific job you’re considering? Will you need that degree in order to move up?

Perhaps you just don’t like classroom-style learning. But what if you could complete a degree outside of the classroom? Would you do it then?

Perhaps college is too expensive. You don’t want to take out loans. What if you found a way to make it affordable?

Ask yourself the tough questions and answer them honestly. Leave every option on the table until you’ve determined what you need to prepare for the future you want. Is college the best way to reach your goals?

Only you can answer that.

3. Forgoing a degree now doesn’t mean you’ll never get one. (But it might make getting one harder.)

Don’t assume that skipping for now means skipping forever.

In fact, a year or two in the workforce may be exactly what you need to succeed in school: your life experience will undoubtedly influence what major you pick, what school you choose, how you choose to study, and where you go after graduation. (And, bonus, working a full-time job for a couple of years will help you save up the cash to afford that degree debt free.)

However, this does come with a caveat: going back to school once you’ve started working is really hard.

You’re making real money now and have probably acquired real expenses to go along with it. You’ve developed routines, cultivated a social life, and are spending a great deal of time simply keeping your life running smoothly. Going back to school will require some painful sacrifices.

This is one of the reasons so many students are encouraged to start college directly after high school. High school students are still used to the rhythm of studying full time and typically don’t have any conflicts of interest; doing well in school remains their top priority. So while it doesn’t have to be done this way, it is a bit easier.

But all that said, going to school down the road is far from impossible, especially if you have a clear vision for why you’re going and, maybe, some help along the way.

4. You don’t have to choose.

You’re still very young. You don’t know what the future is going to hold. You don’t know for sure if you need degree. You do know that bachelor’s degrees are valuable, but you also know you need more than just a degree to reach your goals—you need experience too.

So why choose? Get both!

That’s the path I opted for by pursuing my degree through Accelerated Pathways. At the time, I was working 45 hours a week in a fast-food restaurant. I liked my job and was gaining great work experience. I didn’t want to give that up, but I also didn’t know what the future held. As much as I wanted the work experience, I also craved the security of a universally-respected credential.

Thanks to Accelerated Pathways' incredible flexibility, I didn’t have to choose.

I eventually took a job in sales which led to my current position, writing full time (i.e. my dream). Through each of these roles, Accelerated Pathways was able to keep me on track with my college studies without impeding my career growth. Plus, it was affordable enough that I never had to take out a student loan.

So even though I eventually chose not to finish, I was thankful that I didn’t have to make that choice before giving both working and studying a good “college try.” (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

Was working and studying full time difficult? Yes. But was it worth it? Absolutely. I gained so much confidence knowing I was working through my degree while building an impressive resume and portfolio of work I was proud to showcase. I knew no matter which direction my life turned, I was prepared.

So, at the risk of telling you what to do (even though I told you I wouldn’t), don’t be so quick to limit your options, especially if you don’t yet have a clear vision for your future. Find an option that allows you to pursue education and experience at the same time. Your path will likely become pretty darn clear pretty darn fast, which will give you the confidence you need to charge head-first into your future, whether that means finishing your degree or not.

Last summer, after four years of hard work and dedication, I graduated with my bachelor’s degree. But like you, I’ve chosen a field that requires an even higher education: i.e., grad school.

This is far from a flawless success story.

Graduate school was not always in my sights—honestly, I didn’t give it serious thought until I was three years into undergrad. Therefore I planned very little, and jumped into the application process blindly. Being unprepared caused an abundance of avoidable stress. Learn from my mistakes, dear reader!

Here are four things I wish I had known, as well as tips and tricks I’ve learned about navigating the murky waters of graduate school.

1. Different universities and programs have different requirements

Not all graduate programs are the same. This may seem like a silly statement—of course graduate programs are different! But this thought didn’t cross my mind until I began applications for different schools. I quickly realized that different universities have varying requirements, even for the same degree! I knew I wanted a Master of Social Work degree. Shouldn’t the requirements be universal? Apparently not. I wasn’t prepared for these differences, and the extra work my ignorance caused was annoying at best.

Review your program’s requirements

Establish understanding of your target graduate program’s specific requirements. There may be significant differences between universities that you wouldn’t expect, which will leave you inadequately prepared. For example, I found that some of the courses I took in pursuit of my bachelor’s weren’t transferable to California State Universities—this would have complicated my admission, or possibly prevented it! Thankfully, my school of choice (a private university) accepted my transcripts… had they not, I would’ve needed to retake courses that I didn’t even enjoy the first time around.

Utilize Accelerated Pathways’ Academic Advisors

As a part of their Degree Planning services, Accelerated Pathways' advising department offers support for future graduate students. Their advisors assist students in determining the prerequisites for specific programs, and ensure that undergrad degree plans fulfill those requirements. When an Academic Advisor knows your plans for grad school, they help you avoid the headache of non-transferable credit (if only I had talked to an Advisor prior to applying!)

2. Saving money on grad school is difficult—but not impossible

Accelerated Pathways believes in saving students from debt when possible. However, to save money and evade debt during graduate school, you have to get creative.

Take prerequisites and graduate courses during your undergrad

When reviewing your program’s requirements, you may find there are specific prerequisite courses you need before attending. Instead of taking these courses as “bridge courses” after receiving your bachelor’s degree, include them in your initial undergrad degree plan. (Academic Advisors are pros at this!)

Additionally, some universities offer graduate courses at undergrad prices, so check if your undergrad degree plan has room for a few of these courses.

Apply for scholarships (yes, they exist!)

Scholarships may not be as readily available for graduate students as they are for undergrads, but with a little effort, you can find suitable scholarships. You may find that an online service like Scholly is helpful for your scholarship search.

You should also check with people and organizations you’re connected with to see if they have scholarships available. Your friends, co-workers, employers, or a nonprofit you’re involved in may know of scholarships you haven't heard of. It never hurts to ask!

Seek tuition assistance programs

One of the best ways to pay for graduate programs is to work. Ask your employer if they offer tuition assistance programs to help cover the costs of your education—many companies do. If they don’t, seeking employment at a company that does may be worth considering!

Similar to tuition assistance programs, internships may be an option for you. Some employers have stipends available for graduate students who complete internships at that workplace. Receiving a stipend may entail committing to the company after graduation, so be sure to check the terms before signing the dotted line. Ask the financial aid or internship coordinator at your university if these internships are available to you.

3. Applications can be confusing

Grad school applications are anything but simple. Essays, and transcripts, and references… oh my! Each program expects your application to be completed in a particular way, and there’s little room for error. And while the university often lays out exactly what’s needed, there are so many distinct sections within an application that it’s easy to lose track of essential elements.

Make a checklist

One graduate program I applied to supplied a handy checklist detailing every required material. This list was invaluable to my sanity through the application process! If your university doesn’t create this for you, I highly recommend making one for yourself. This way, you can be certain you’ve included every little requirement.

Know your deadlines

Application deadlines also vary from program to program, and they may come earlier than you’d expect—sometimes up to a full year before your intended start date!

Keep track of your deadlines, and give yourself more time than you think you need to complete your application. Trust me. When it comes to preparing your application, it’s better to have extra time than to be pressed for it. You might face unexpectedly difficult essay questions, technical complications, or delays in communication with your references. Allotting more time to the application process will prevent stress down the road. (And your future self will thank you.)

4. Graduate programs have high standards

This shouldn’t scare you, but rather be an encouragement. Why? The fact that you want to go to grad school speaks volumes about who you are: a young person who hopes to accomplish more than the average Joe. Graduate schools look for students with hands-on experience, volunteerism, and good grades—all of your hard work will really pay off!

Strive for excellence

About 20 million students enroll in U.S. colleges and universities every year. But I guarantee that most of those 20 million students aren’t getting hands-on experience, volunteering, and maintaining a 3.5 GPA. This is good news for you, you focused and driven student! Keep striving to be the best you can be. It will set you apart from those less motivated, and will serve you well as you seek acceptance to grad school.

Maintain positive relationships

I’m sure you have exceptional relationships with the people you interact with on a regular basis. That’s great, because a substantial part of grad school applications depends on others’ opinions of you. It’s crucial that you maintain overwhelmingly positive ongoing relationships with professors, academic advisors, and supervisors; you’ll need letters of recommendation from them, and it’s always best to know that they think highly of you!

Though I could’ve made the process easier for myself, I am thrilled to tell you that I got into my master’s program of choice, and will begin attending this fall! While I made it into graduate school despite my lack of knowledge, do yourself a favor and prepare prior to applying. Getting into grad school doesn’t have to add worry lines to your forehead or grey hairs to your head!

A big shout-out to Accelerated Pathways' Academic Advising Manager, Joel Talley: he and his team did an incredible job helping me to better understand graduate school, and provided some of the tips I’ve shared with you!

Want your grad school applications to go more smoothly than mine did? Prepare for your bachelor’s and grad school simultaneously: contact an Academic Advisor today to create your Degree Plan!

I thought I’d make a career out of writing. That’s what I went to college for. I majored in English: Creative Writing because I loved it. I enjoyed sitting in the classroom, talking to my peers about short stories and poetry… until my senior year rolled around.

What was after college? What was I going to do with this degree that I so loved pursuing? Could I really make a career out of writing?

I worked a slew of odd jobs and writing internships before I landed at Pearson as a Registrar Support Specialist, something I never imagined I’d be doing. Now that I’m 30 and working a job I enjoy, I look back on my college career wishing I had known a few things before graduating. Things like what jobs I could get with this degree and what skills should I be learning to better prepare me for life after college—because it turns out, life after college wasn’t anything like I’d imagined.

If you’re considering majoring in Creative Writing, here are a few things to keep in mind:

A Degree Doesn’t Always Mean A Job

The first question for any English major is “what do you hope to do with an English degree?” It’s a legitimate question and sometimes a hard one. What can one do with an English degree other than teach? Is a creative writing degree even marketable?

As a whole, the purpose of getting a college degree is not primarily about getting a job. The purpose of going to college is to educate yourself, grow as a person, and gain experience and knowledge that will last you a lifetime.

I don’t think I’d be writing this post or any of my past blog posts if I hadn’t pursued writing in college and worked as a writing intern for a couple years. However, I don’t think I would have ended up in my current position as a registrar support specialist—the job that actually pays my bills—if I hadn’t gotten 8+ years of administrative experience and a couple years of management experience alongside my degree.

Just because you’re getting a Creative Writing degree doesn’t mean you’ll end up as a best-selling author or poet. If you want to make yourself marketable for a wide array of jobs, consider gaining specialized experience alongside your writing education.

So, what are some creative job ideas for creative writing majors? Here are just a few ideas:

• Marketing communications or copywriting

• Web content writer or blogger

• Journalist

• Public relations

• Technical writer

• Communications director

• Social media specialist

• Grant writer

Are you looking to get a college degree? Accelerated Pathways offers custom degree plans that allow students to achieve their degree and save money. Reach out to our student counselors to get more specialized degree guidance and information about our programs.

A note on freelancing

Thanks to the internet, the demand for freelance writers has grown. Some companies seek help for projects that require excellent writing and communication skills but don’t feel the need to hire someone full-time, so they turn to agencies and job boards that can get the word out. This is a great opportunity for the entrepreneurial-minded writer.

A few such agencies are The Creative Group, Creative Circle, and 24 Seven. You simply give them your resume and portfolio, indicate what kind of work you’re looking for, and they dish out your resume to jobs that may be a good fit. You can also browse job opportunities on their websites on your own and send your resume.

Check job boards like Indeed or LinkedIn. You can often find someone looking for a writer, editor, or expert communicator for various reasons. Just make sure you do a bit of research into the job and/or the company so you know what you’re getting yourself into.

Learn Non-Writing Skills

I love writing short stories and poems. Some of my best college memories are writing stories for my peers to review or talking to my writing professor about how to be a better writer over burgers. The skills I learned by taking writing courses are skills that I cherish even years after graduation.

However, looking back, I wish I had learned more skills than just creative writing. There’s more to jobs and careers than just simply writing. A lot of other skills and knowledge are necessary as well.

For example, I wish I had learned more about marketing and branding. This may have opened up opportunities for me in marketing and communications. For instance, when I interned for a branding agency, I had no idea what Search Engine Optimization (SEO) was or what the difference was between user experience and user interface. Were these pertinent to my role there? Not really, but my co-workers talked about them a lot, and I often felt lost.

Writing is great but learn other things too.

Don’t take odd jobs for granted either. Before I landed my job at Pearson, I worked as a front desk agent at a hotel, as a receiving assistant manager in a grocery store, and had a temporary job for a standardized testing service. While none of these by any means are dream jobs, I learned valuable skills in customer service, administration, management, and communication.

These odd jobs can be good ways to learn other skills that can give you a leg up in the race for employment, and while learning new skills or improving them, these various jobs can also help give you a boost in creativity based on your everyday interactions or duties.

Use Your Minor to Specialize

Minors are another great way to get some perspective in other fields.

On average, a minor takes up approximately 15-18 credits and usually helps fill up elective space in your degree. Don’t fill yours with writing classes. Some minors I would recommend to someone majoring in creative writing are education, business (specifically marketing, if available), journalism, and communications. All of these fields require creative writing in some way, and they are fields you’re most likely to pursue after college.

But ultimately, minor in anything you’re interested in. This will help you learn more, and give you more to write about! Besides, following your interests is a great way to land a job you love.

Pursue Internships

You’ll hear a lot of negative things about internships, like how they don’t pay well (or at all) or don’t teach you enough. To be honest, these things are true. But don’t be so quick to throw out the opportunity.

There are many well-meaning companies offering college students the opportunity to learn practical, on-the-job skills, and sometimes an internship can be a stepping stone to something better.

Making the decision to pursue an internship can be tough, and it comes with risks. You may not make any money, you might be new to the field, and you seriously have no idea what you’re doing. So, here are things you can do when pursuing an internship:

• Make a budget. Can you afford to do something for free with the hope of something better in the future? After all, you do need to eat and to pay for the gas to get to your internship.

• Make a list of local companies that may offer internships in your desired field. This may include companies that require you to commute, which will affect the aforementioned budget.

• Contact your advisor and/or professors. They may have some very helpful information and connections. Depending on your school, degree, or major, you may even be required to complete an internship for graduation.

• Treat it just like searching for any other job. You’ll be competing with hundreds—maybe thousands—of other eager students like yourself. You can’t win them all, but you should be persistent, professional, and confident.

• When you interview for an internship, listen and ask good questions. Make sure you understand what the interviewer is asking of you, and if you don’t know something, ask because you’re there to learn.

Pursue What You Value

When deciding on a major, a minor, side jobs, or any of the myriad of decisions you’ll make in college, it’s important to know what you want to do in the future and set goals. These goals will help orient you and make the decision-making process a lot easier.

But even more important than setting goals is defining your values. The things you value are the motivators for reaching your goals. These values answer the question of “why?” Why do you want to achieve this or that goal? Why is this goal important to you?

For example, as a writer, I want to get a short story published, a common goal that many writers share. The value (or the motivator to reach this goal) is that I want to tell people about the things I care about, struggle with, and think about, to share my story and my perspective. That value is true even as I write this blog post. If and when I achieve this goal, I will make a new goal, but my values will remain more or less consistent for months and years to come, possibly for the rest of my life.

It’s your values that will carry you through all of the writing, job searching, skill acquiring, and interning you can muster, not your goals. So, what do you value? How do those values motivate you to reach your goals or your dream job as it were?

As long as you consistently pursue what you value, no matter what other choices you make about your major, you’re guaranteed to walk toward a meaningful future career.

Learn more about how Accelerated Pathways can help you get an affordable English degree that also gives you the flexibility you need to build other important career skills at the same time.

What’re ya’ gonna do now, kid?

This is the question everyone asked my daughter, Tessa, when she became a homeschool graduate. She was the first student to homeschool from kindergarten through twelfth grade in either my husband’s or my family, so, naturally, many of our relatives doubted her ability to thrive in the “real world.” Friends were curious about her plans, and other adults remembered wrestling through their own hopeful, anxiety-filled decisions after high school.

Because Tessa graduated ahead of schedule, and we knew we had quite a bit of domestic and overseas travel ahead of us, our family decided to take the year after her graduation to explore her possibilities. We were leaning toward some combination of community college and/or residential college.

Of course, as our family began talking through opportunities for Tessa, I quickly realized she wasn’t the only one whose future was suddenly full of options. I needed to figure out what was next for me.

For the past 18 years, I had been a full-time, stay-at-home mom, busy with my community and homeschooling my daughter. I treated motherhood and homeschooling like a vocation. I became efficient, focused, goal-oriented. Where I found myself lacking skills, I studied; I learned; I applied theory. I read books on management, home economics, parenting, gardening, history, science, art—you name it, I read it, learned from it, and found practical applications.

To be honest, after quitting my job as a medical billing manager for a growing orthopedic practice to stay home with my newborn girl, I found it difficult to be “just a mom.” But, by the time Tessa graduated, I couldn’t imagine any job that would be equally gratifying or fulfilling.

As people began asking Tessa what her future held for her, I suddenly realized her graduation meant that my most rewarding occupation had ended. And I worried that I would never again find such meaningful work.

I felt lost.

Searching for a roadmap.

To find my way, I began asking for advice from every wise person I knew: my husband, family, friends, clergy. What new adventure is possible for someone like me?

I spoke to my brother, a software engineer and several times executive of successful start-ups. He laughed and told me to forget about a career. “You are too old,” he said. (Brothers always tell the hard truth.)

My aunt, who also had been a stay-at-home mom, became politically active after her sons graduated. She ran successful election campaigns for Texas congressmen, senators, and a governor. She wrote policy for the state attorney general, as well. My aunt agreed with my brother. “Your time is best spent volunteering,” she said.

A pastor I spoke with knew that I spent my free time learning and reading. He recommended I return to school and complete my unfinished bachelor’s degree. My college roommate, who also withdrew from college after only a couple of semesters, recently finished her degree and recommended I locate a university that would accept most of my (now dusty) credits and do the same.

My laid-back husband suggested I do whatever I want. He didn’t need me to supplement our income and was fine with me staying home, looking after “home things.”

This was the first time I had ever been in a position like this: no clear map. So many options. And I could only pick one…

The Journey Begins

During this time of searching, I started a daytime women’s group, taught workshops, and spoke at teens’ and women’s retreats. I wanted to keep doing these kinds of things.

But the idea of returning to college filled me with longing.

After high school, I enrolled in an out-of-state college, and when I found myself on campus for the first time, I felt like I was home. I remember thinking to myself, “If I could afford it, I’d live my entire life on a college campus, studying, learning.” I loved everything about it, and I deeply regretted withdrawing after only three semesters. I quit so early only because I worried about the amount of debt I had already accumulated in such a short time. (It ended up taking me ten years to pay off that debt. Ten years!)

Meanwhile, as I began thinking about options for my future, Tessa decided, after seeing her college entrance exam scores and receiving a couple of generous scholarship offers, maybe she should consider getting a degree herself. After touring a couple of campuses, she decided that she didn’t want to pay for housing. So, we started looking locally.

We checked out the nearby community college, and it still seemed expensive. Not only that, but the academic counselor we spoke with wouldn’t even help her figure out how to ensure that all her community college credits would transfer to the university of her choice! Surely we were not the first people to ask about this. Helping students figure out how to transfer credits seemed like a natural service that community colleges should offer.

During the same visit, I had brought my college transcript with us, just to see which of my credits might be accepted toward a degree. The answer? None.

Tessa and I both left feeling discouraged and frustrated. That is until I remembered Accelerated Pathways from all the homeschool conferences I had previously attended. The Pearson representatives I had met at these events seemed helpful, and this gave us one more option to explore. I checked Accelerated Pathways out online and decided to contact them. We spoke with a Pearson representative who encouraged us both to send in our transcripts (Tessa’s from high school and mine from college) to be evaluated. Then we waited for an academic advisor to call.

What if I get to do both?

As we waited, I continued struggling with my desire to finish my degree. If I returned to college, what degree should I choose? Am I finishing to fulfill a goal, check a box, cross it off the bucket list? Or do I hope to do something with the degree? Would I be headed toward a vocation? If so, should I finish the teaching degree I began after high school? (That didn’t seem very appealing.) If I decided to go down a different road, would I get to use any of those expensive credits I had on my transcript?

And what would that mean for the nonprofit I was part of? When I asked for advice, most people suggested that I should pick one path and follow it full time. Even though I love learning, and I was sure I’d enjoy returning to post-secondary studies, would the trade-off be worth it? I found mentoring, leading small groups, and speaking at retreats to be deeply meaningful. Was I willing to give that up?

I didn’t have to wait very long for answers.

A Pearson advisor phoned very quickly after looking over my transcript. With their help, all but ½ of one of my credits would transfer. I couldn’t believe it! On top of that, the last five semesters needed to earn my degree would end up costing less than what I’d paid for the first three! Wow!

Unlike the community college we visited, the Pearson advisor assured us that every class Tessa or I took through their Accelerated Pathways program would be fully accredited and guaranteed to transfer to the college of our choice. They even offered us some study materials for a few CLEP exams if we wanted to bypass some classes.

All this, and a flexible schedule! Since Accelerated Pathways offers—for the most part—online, self-paced courses, I would have the freedom to learn at my own pace, going as fast or as slow as I liked, arranging my daily schedule in a way that works for me.

After learning about Accelerated Pathways, I realized that I didn’t have to choose just one path. I didn’t have to make an either/or decision. It’s as though two roads became one, and my choice became clear. With a flexible schedule, I could earn my degree and continue building relationships. I could be available for mentorship and be a full-time student! Bonus: I wouldn’t wind up in debtor’s prison along the way. Accelerated Pathways would make it possible to afford my dream of finishing my degree and still enjoy helping people grow.

Tessa realized Accelerated Pathways would give her the same flexible lifestyle she had enjoyed as a homeschooler, and she was pleased she wouldn’t have to spend a lot of time in traffic, commuting to and from campus. Plus, she really loved the idea of graduating from college debt free.

I was sold, and so was Tessa.

We started taking classes with Accelerated Pathways in January 2017. As I now complete my final semesters of college, I’ll be honest—I still have no idea where life will take me next. But what a great time I am having on this leg of my journey!

Want to find out if Accelerated Pathways is a good fit for your family? Check out our website to learn more about the program and how we can help you!

This post is the second in our How to Find a Job You Love series. Check out the first post here!

Everyone says having a “great career” is the key to wealth, happiness, and the meaning of life. That’s great, but how come those same people can’t offer decent advice about how to find such a great career?

In fact, you’ve been working for years now—during college and maybe even after—and wealth, happiness, and the meaning of life still haven’t shown up. You’ve got a job, but not a career. You’re starting to think only incredibly lucky people get careers they love. The rest of us get weekends, two weeks of vacation, and retirement at 65.

Friend, things are indeed grim, but not for the reasons you think. You have developed a severe case of Red Bullification disease.

The Only Cool Careers are Ones That Can Kill Me

It’s a pretty serious diagnosis. Acute Red Bullification, often caused by heavy social media use, is what happens when you become convinced that the only careers you can actually be happy in are careers sponsored by Red Bull.

Flying wingsuits, racing mountain bikes, rocking on stage, you get the picture. High excitement = big fun = cool career. But that’s bad career thinking that may have you dying young by jumping out of a helicopter.

Even if you avoid the helicopter death thing, acute Red Bullification still results in choosing a career based on what looks cool on TV. That’s why so many people want to go to college for medical degrees (to work in a glamorous ER), criminal forensics (CSI, baby!), interior design (the next Chip and Joanna Gaines), and, my personal favorite, marine biology (so they can get paid to swim with dolphins!)

Most often, Acute Red Bullification disease causes depression and cynicism and results in people getting trapped in boring jobs instead of finding meaningful careers.

Bad Advice (Which Only Makes Your Symptoms Worse)

There are two common pieces of advice that will make your Red Bullification symptoms worse.

The first sounds reasonable, intelligent, and responsible. Guidance counselors, teachers, and parents use it a lot. It goes like this: “Before you graduate, do some thinking and studying. Really ask yourself ‘what career is right for me?’”

The second piece of advice sounds inspirational and lovely. Ironically it’s most often given by older workers (who are in jobs that they hate) to students who haven’t yet started a career. “Follow your passion, do what you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”

Both pieces of advice are well-meaning but… they’re also garbage.

First of all, we live in a world of incredible and unprecedented change. That means it’s likely you’ll have a career in something that didn’t even exist when you’re in (or even after you graduate from) college. Nowadays it’s pretty much guaranteed that over your working life you’ll have multiple careers in different fields. The idea that you can figure out on paper what future career you will love and then build a master plan to get it is trash.

And the belief that following your passion means never working another day in your life isn’t just garbage. It’s gagging, retching, maggot-breeding, stinking garbage.

Currently, you’re on the very short side of experience—which is a fancy way to say you’re not very old yet. You haven’t had the time or the experience to have the foggiest idea of what you could or should be passionate about. How do you know what you love? You haven’t even experienced enough of the world to know what’s lovable!

Most people think if they just walk around and breathe long enough, one day WAM! Passion lightning will strike them and that will be it! They’ll know what they’re passionate about and will skip merrily along, never working another day in their life. Garbage!

You have to work to find your passion. Even after you find your passion, there will still be days when work feels like… well, work.

Here’s Some Better Advice (and the Cure for Red Bullification)

In truth, it only takes two things to love your career:

1. Autonomy: having control over what you do, when you do it, and how you do it.

2. Meaning: work you think is important and makes a real difference in the world.

Once you’re earning enough money to pay your bills and you get to decide when and how to do what you know will make a difference in the world, you’re working in a career you love.

So how do you get there?

First, Have an Attitude of Mastery

Nobody is going to let you decide what, how, and when to work on something until you’ve proven you have the skill to do so. How do you gain this skill?

By having an attitude of mastery. That means looking for some part of your job to master and getting better than everyone else, no matter what job you currently have. And once you master that skill, look for the next thing and the next.

This strategy will help you in three ways:

First, it will help you gain skill you can trade for autonomy.

Second, it’s the surest way to figure out what you’re good at and how that overlaps with the world’s needs. (Forget career aptitude tests. Pick three things to master, master them, and then look back on what you learned. I bet that those three things are connected in some way.)

Third, having an attitude of mastery will help you decide when it’s time to push for a promotion or look for a new job. When your current position is no longer offering things you’re interested in mastering, you’ll know it’s time for a change.

Then Just Work Hard and Be Patient

It takes time to build skills and gain experience.

How much time? Usually about 10-15 years. Understanding this time commitment makes all the difference. Without this perspective, you’ll give up and succumb to living-for-the-weekend thinking when you realize that the job you have isn’t perfectly awesome.

But if you understand this time commitment, everything changes. Instead of despair, you have a plan and a vision. This isn’t your dream career yet, but there are still skills to master and experience to gain. So you dig in, mastering everything you can for 10+ years.

Only then you can trade skill for autonomy. Only then you can trade experience for meaningful work.

A great career is possible, and Red Bullification is easily curable.

Finding a great career means understanding that autonomy and meaning are the essential foundation for work you love. But you must be willing to build the skill and put in the time required to lay that foundation.

When you do, you will have found work you love. Passion comes with it. And dolphins and Red Bull are optional.

My cursor maintained its steady rhythm while I sat and stared at the blank document on my computer.

And in that moment, I finally admitted what I had been denying for weeks.

The warning signs had appeared—inability to focus, lack of excitement, feeling like a failure, my normal Pollyanna attitude turned to dark cynicism—but I had pushed through, telling myself it would be different this time.

But I couldn’t deny it any longer.

I was burned out. Again.

I felt like a failure. I had allowed myself to get burned out for probably the 10th time in 4 years.

You see, I’m a burnout junkie.

I push myself hard and attempt to do ALL THE THINGS. I succeed for a while. But after a few weeks or months, the tell-tale signs of burnout show up.

But rather than fix the problem, I ignore the warning signals and press on, thinking this time will be different.

You’ve probably heard that insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

That about sums me up. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Burnout is real and is very common for college students who have a lot on their plate. It can be tempting to just muscle your way through it, especially when you feel like you have no other option.

But speaking from more experience than I’d like to have, that’s not the best way to go about it.

So, for both you and myself, I put together this Burnout Guide of how to avoid burnout, the warning signs, and how to recover.

How to avoid burnout

The best way to recover from burnout is obviously to not get burned out in the first place. Novel thought, right? What are the best ways to do that?

Relax.

I know. Relaxing is a lot easier said than done. There’s a never-ending list of things to do, people to be with, problems to solve, and things to accomplish. But scheduling time to relax is just as important as scheduling time to study, go to work, or anything else in your busy life.

And “relaxing” doesn’t necessarily mean “veg in front of the TV” (in fact, that may not relax you at all). Take the time to think about what actually relaxes you—reading, painting, a bubble bath, playing a game, talking with a friend, going on a walk—and do that.

And don’t feel guilty about it! It’s okay to take time to recharge your batteries. You weren’t created to be “on” and producing all day, every day.

Eat well.

We all know we should eat well, but usually we think of it in terms of “I don’t want to get fat,” and not “I want to do what’s best for my brain, hormones, and emotions.” And while the old adage “you are what you eat” isn’t entirely true (I can already hear all the dad jokes about turning into a chicken when you eat a chicken), what you eat does impact more than your waistline.

Take your vitamins, eat your veggies, and slow down on the pizza. You’ll thank yourself later.

Sleep.

You know how you always feel better about a problem after sleeping on it? You just don’t think clearly when you’re tired. That’s why sleep is vitally important to preventing burnout.

And if you’re too busy to sleep, that’s a huge warning sign that you’re probably doing too much. Cut out some things and take care of yourself! Your body was created to need sleep.

Know what energizes you.

Not only do you need to know what relaxes you, you also need to know what energizes you. Make a list to consult when you need it. Otherwise you’ll spend hours letting Netflix autoplay do its thing and not actually feel better afterwards.

Do you feel like you can do anything after you go on a hike? Write that down! Does talking to your best friend/coach/accountability partner keep you going? Add it to the list. Are you inspired and excited about life when you have a canvas and paint at your fingertips? Put it on there.

Don’t get stuck in an “I don’t know what to do” rut. Have a go-to list that makes decision-making easier.

Tell-tale signs of burnout

Avoiding burnout is obviously the best. But if you’re a burnout junkie like me, you blew right past preventative because preventative is for wussies (or wise people, buuuuutt, we won’t let ourselves admit that) and you’re already in a burnout spiral. Burnout comes in many different ways, but here are some of the signs:

• Forgetfulness

• Lack of concentration

• Lack of productivity

• Insomnia

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Anger

• Increased irritability

• Chronic fatigue

• Loss of appetite

• Increased illness

• Loss of enjoyment

• Pessimism

• Isolation

• Detachment

• Physical pain

While I experience many of these in varying degrees, the biggest ones for me are forgetfulness, lack of concentration, pessimism, and lack of productivity. Those lead to feelings of failure and the need to try harder which causes me to circle further down in the burnout spiral. I know I’m not alone...

How to recover from burnout

“I’m definitely burned out. What I need to know is how to fix it. Like, yesterday!”

I hear ya.

I wish I could tell you to sleep 10 hours each night over the weekend, eat 4oz of brussel sprouts, go on a hike, and you’ll be well Monday morning. But unfortunately, it’s not a one-size-fits-all fix. And it’s not an overnight (or over-weekend) process.

But with some intentionality, you can get back to normal. (And once you do, refer to the above section about how to prevent it the next time. Don’t get caught in the insanity loop!) Here are some tips to get you started.

• Look at your life. What is on your plate? What is stressing you out? Write it down. Just writing it out takes half the stress away simply because it’s not swirling in your head anymore and feels more manageable. Plus then you can take a good look at it (see next step).

• Reduce stress. Look at your list. What can be eliminated? And before you say, “nothing! That’s why I’m sooooo stressssssed!!” actually take some time to consider what you can realistically change. Be honest with yourself. Get creative, delegate tasks, lower your standards for yourself a little bit, and purge your schedule.

• Say no. This is hard to do. But it’s a necessary skill to learn and essential when it comes to recovering from burnout. Instead of instantly saying “yes” to every request that comes your way, get in the habit of saying “no.” A good rule of thumb: if it’s not a definite “yes,” it’s a definite “no.”

• Give yourself a break. Literally. If you’re constantly rushing from one thing to the next, you’re booking yourself a little too tight. (If more than half of your meals have been skipped, eaten in the car, or consumed standing up, I’m talking to you.) Schedule time to take it slow, relax, or just stop and reflect.

• Unplug. Close your laptop, shut off your phone, and power down your tablet. Take a break from all the things fighting for your attention and focus on one thing instead, even if it’s just for a 15 minutes. Your brain will thank you.

• Socialize. Get out. Stop being so focused on productivity and just go out and have some fun for the sake of having fun. Spend time with friends and enjoy life.

• Set start and stop times. Whether it’s school or a job, have set times that you work on those things and then stop. Don’t take work home with you or let your college classes creep into every aspect of your life. Set boundaries with your time (and location, if applicable) and then stick to them.

• Accountability. Sometimes you just need those friends who will come alongside you and help. The ones who will ask you the hard questions about what you’re doing and if you’re taking care of yourself. I have four close friends who are awesome at calling me out and making sure I’m doing what I should. They’re invaluable to me.

Burnout doesn’t have to be a constant cycle. With some intentionality and awareness, you can prevent it and thrive in school, work, and life.

Have you ever been burned out? How did you recover?

Having a full college experience is something that many students long for, and it’s easy to get caught up in exactly which school will provide the best one. Who has the best cafeteria? The coolest sports teams? The right programs?

But what if I told you that having a full college experience can go far beyond these things?

As someone who has taken both traditional and nontraditional paths through college, I have found one thing to be true: it’s what you choose to do with your time that really matters. If you’re purposeful with your time, you can craft a perfect college experience no matter where you end up going (or what the food is like). But only if you’re willing to rethink the “college experience” a bit.

Here are six ways to do that.

1. Know Before You Go

I’ve had countless conversations with college students who tell me, “I’m not exactly sure what I want to do or what to major in.” Turns out they went to college not because they had a plan, but because it was the traditional “next step.” These students often end up frustrated because they’re spending time and money on something they’re unsure of.

If you’re in this boat, I would encourage you towards one of two things:

1. Consider taking your Gen Eds in a unique way. Taking your Gen Eds online or through a local community college gives you the chance to stay up to speed with school while also lowering the cost of classes. It also gives you more time to consider what major you would like to go into. Try some classes that interest you and see if something sticks.

This option will hopefully buy you some time and save you some money. That way, when it comes time to enroll in college, you can declare a major with confidence knowing that the rest of your time and money will be spent efficiently.

One important thing to keep in mind—if you choose this method, you should immediately seek the counsel of an academic advisor. Transferring credits between colleges can be tricky business (and if not done carefully, it will likely leave you spending more on your degree in the long run). Consider utilizing a program like Accelerated Pathways that allows you to take these classes online at an affordable price and offers excellent academic guidance, so you can guarantee that the classes you’re taking will transfer to the school of your choice.

2. Take a gap year (or two, or three), and use that time to discover more about what you like. A great way to do this is by applying for internships, getting a job, or volunteering with organizations that interest you.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with going to college “late.” Hands-on experience is irreplaceable, and will quickly reveal whether or not you truly enjoy whatever field of work you’re considering. After a year or more of hands-on learning, you’ll have a greater understanding of what you should pursue in college (if anything).

Don’t go to college just because it’s supposed to be the next step. Go because you have a purpose for being there.

2. You Can Pick Your Pace

College is generally thought to take place in the four years after high school. While this may be the suggested and average timeframe, you don’t have to stay within those borders. Your story is unique, and how you go about the college experience is allowed to be different than my journey or your classmate’s. If your goal is to graduate in two years and then get a job or travel the world or start a family, you have the potential to make that happen. If you have responsibilities you can’t sacrifice, you can take classes at a slower pace. You can take gap years and start college later in life, once you know why you’re going. You can go to college for the traditional four years. You can start college, take a break, and then go back.

The list goes on and on.

The point is, you don’t have to squeeze yourself into a box of stereotypes.

Life looks different for each person, which means that each person will run at a different pace. You have the ability to run at your pace and not someone else’s.

3. Don’t Pause Your Priorities

Once you understand that you can pick your pace for going through college, it becomes easier to see that you don’t have to put other priorities on hold.

Yes, it is possible to have a life outside of college!

Having a full “college experience” can be so much more than just sitting through lectures, and keeping up with homework doesn’t have to be your top priority all the time. Why not fill your college experience with life experience too?

Your college years should leave room for you to maintain a job or be with family. Or you can prioritize travel. Just imagine, the world now becomes your campus! You can start building your business, designing your website, or putting more energy into a hobby that you value.

Focusing only on college leads to tunnel vision—there is much to learn both in and out of the classroom. While tunnel vision during your college years isn’t the end of the world, it will block you from engaging fully with the world. It may lead you to pass by opportunities to learn about people and cultures outside of your college campus or push off learning that one thing you always wanted to try. Academics is just one way of learning. Keep a broad gaze and an open mind.

The college experience should not pause the rest of your life. If it does, I would encourage you to take a step back and evaluate if you’re truly getting the college experience you desire.

4. Every Moment Counts

Another way to rethink college is to rethink the time you’re technically not in school. Evaluate the long breaks—primarily your winter break and summer break. If you’re looking to get ahead or gain more experience, these two breaks are great opportunities to knock out some extra classes, apply for an internship, or get a job.

For me, I used one summer to take two classes through Accelerated Pathways. These classes helped me get ahead, which then allowed me to graduate with an associate degree in three semesters, which gave me the liberty to accept a job working with a nonprofit organization, which is what I’ve always wanted to do.

Do you see the domino effect? While taking two classes over the summer doesn’t sound like much, it was that simple action that propelled me forward to reach my desired destination.

It’s about making purposeful actions with the time you’re given. Set goals for your life beyond college, and use these breaks to work towards them. Maybe that means taking classes to graduate early. Or you may intern for an organization that connects you with the people who offer you your first job. Or maybe you save a little extra from working during one break so that you can spend another break traveling. Whatever it is, be aware of the time that you have and use it to it’s fullest potential.

5. You Don’t Have to Drown in Debt

With the skyrocketing price of college these days, debt appears to be inevitable. But this doesn’t have to be the case! There are ways for you to save money and make money that will set you on a path toward debt-free college.

One of the best ways I’ve found to come out of college debt free is to take affordable transfer classes, like the ones I took through Accelerated Pathways. By finding flexible classes that fit into my degree, I was able to save thousands of dollars.

You can also save money by becoming an R.A (Resident Assistant). An R.A. is a leader of a hall in a dorm who usually gets reduced or free housing. Or consider saving money on housing by living in an apartment off campus so that the cost is split between more people, or better yet, with your parents. (Free rent!)

Saving money is a helpful step towards coming out of college debt free, but making money is equally beneficial. Both serve as action steps towards offsetting the cost of college. A great way to make money while at college is to apply for jobs on campus. That way you’re not inconvenienced by paying for transportation to get to your job.

Coming out of college debt free may also mean putting college on hold for a year or two. Working to purposefully save for college is not something that should be looked down upon. In fact, this may be a wise option for you to consider. It is much better to put college on hold if it means graduating unshackled by debt.

Debt is something that will affect your life for years after college. But graduating debt free isn’t impossible. That’s why having a debt-free mindset is so important. Once you know it’s an option, you can better strategize the action steps necessary to place yourself on the debt-free path.

6. Independence Doesn’t Mean Irresponsibility

One thing that many students look forward to as they enter college is that sweet sweet freedom. Staying out late, partying, eating whatever and whenever… but I quickly found that independence does not mean irresponsibility. In fact, quite the opposite.

Because you have more control over your class schedule than you did in high school, you also have more control over how you use your time. What you do with this time will either impact your college experience for the better or for the worse.

While it seemed fun to push off my studies for as long as possible and stay up super late, I found that these decisions left me stressed and tired. In my pursuit of freedom, I trapped myself in an unhealthy (and disappointing) lifestyle. So, I decided to break some of these bad habits. I went to bed earlier. I purposefully structured time to do homework instead of leaving it to the last minute.

When I chose to be responsible with my independence, I found that I actually had more time to hang out with friends or enjoy hobbies. I had more energy and was less stressed.

I would encourage any students entering college to rethink independence. Be purposeful with your time. Start building healthy habits now.

It can be easy to think, “Well there’s no way that I could come out of college debt free” or “Traveling while doing college sounds nice, but that’s really just a pipe dream.”

That’s just not true, and thinking that way will hinder you from taking any action at all. You can take a gap year, take classes online, or spend all four years on campus if you want. Everyone’s different, and we all learn in different ways. Whatever your college experience looks like, I would encourage one thing—be purposeful with the time you have.

Having and partaking in a bigger college experience is something that you can choose, but you have to choose it.

Interested in creating your perfect college experience while graduating debt free? Join the community of students who say “no” to debt and make the world their campus.

So you’re trying to pick a major. What a big decision! Definitely keep up the researching, planning, and stressing, because everyone knows the major you choose will set your course for success (or failure) in life.

Or, alternatively... you could just pick one and roll with it.

Yes, you read that right. While some careers (especially in STEM) do require a specific degree, most of us can actually get into the career we want without a degree that perfectly matches.

Trust me, choosing a major shouldn’t be a cause for tears. Here are 3 reasons why your college major is just one small piece of your education, and why it doesn’t really matter (that much).

Your Major Isn’t the Whole of Your Education

It’s a common misconception that your college experience—and specifically, the major you choose—will determine the kind of education you receive. Thank our culture of Ivy Leagues and standardized tests.

In reality, you are the determining factor of your quality education, for one reason: if you want the best education possible, you have to take full responsibility for your learning. Your college years should be a time dedicated to curiosity, not pre-test memorization that’s destined to be forgotten in a month. Learn as much as you can about a variety of topics, do extra homework or classes that interest you, try things you never thought you would, and ask as many questions as you can!

If you commit to learning beyond your formal education and truly apply yourself, any major you choose will be just fine. Habitual curiosity will take you places that a major never will.

Take, for example, one of the greatest minds of the 20th century, Albert Einstein. His great contributions to science changed the way we view physics today. Now Einstein did receive formal training in mathematics and physics, and he even earned a Ph.D. But his revolutionary accomplishments were due to his personal commitment to discovery, not his major.

At the end of his influential life, Einstein reflected, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence.”

Stay curious! Opt out of a passive approach and take the reins of your own education.

Your Major Isn’t the Only Decision that Matters

What if I told you that your college major doesn’t matter any more than your summer plans or how you spend your Sunday afternoons?

It’s true. Life trajectories aren’t contingent on one big decision. We make decisions every day that can either bring us closer to our goals or stunt our growth. Every time you decide to spend five hours binging The Office, you are also making the decision not to invest those hours in your future (unless you’re planning on going into the paper business).

The things you do on a daily basis—your routines, habits, and hobbies—are just as important as the seemingly bigger life decisions like your major.

Even if your goal is to be a stellar paper salesman, be honest with yourself. You’d be better off reading Forbes, shadowing an experienced salesman, and practicing your pranking skills on your unsuspecting friends than trying to passively glean knowledge from any sitcom character.

Make daily decisions that will bring you closer to your goals, and you’ll find success, no matter what major you choose.

Your Major Doesn’t Confine You to a Specific Career Path

One of the reasons many students stress about their choice of major is due to the mistaken belief that their major will determine their career. While your degree may come with an obvious career path, you don’t have to follow it.

Your future career and success are not at the mercy of the degree you choose. You can be an entrepreneur with a liberal arts degree, a photographer with a B.A. in Sociology, or a life coach with a B.S. in Biology. You aren’t going to ruin your life by making the “wrong” choice.

It’s okay to forge your own way through the woods. If you go off the well-trodden path, oh well! You may just take the long way around to an occupation you never knew you were passionate about. The valuable lessons you learn from an unconventional journey like that may even equip you for more adventures in your future, all unbeknownst to you now.

I’ve experienced this personally. I chose the “wrong” bachelor’s degree. I majored in psychology, because it was interesting to me and, at the time, I knew was I wanted to work with people somehow. Along the way, I realized that I wanted to be a social worker, which requires a master’s degree in Social Work. Had I chosen to major in social work for my undergrad, I could’ve shaved two years off of grad school.

Did I make the “wrong choice”? I don’t think so. If I hadn’t earned my B.S. in psychology, I wouldn’t currently have background knowledge of psychology supporting my current studies. I wouldn’t have gotten an internship in which I was able to explore the intricacies of the human brain. And I never would have crossed paths with the brilliant individuals I get to sit in class with every week. Because, had I earned my bachelor’s degree in social work, I would be in a completely different graduate program.

Friend, stop stressing about what college major you choose. Put down the pros and cons list and stop Googling every major, emphasis, minor, and elective you find. Take a deep breath before you spiral into a vortex of unnecessary worry.

Instead, stay engaged, make a decision, and enjoy the journey… you never know where life is going to take you or what you’ll learn along the way!

What you major in may not change the course of your life, but how you do college might. Don’t settle for “just college.” Use these years to try new experiences and work toward your life goals alongside a thriving community of dedicated students just like you. Learn how Accelerated Pathways will help you say “no” to debt and make the world your campus.

Sometimes I eat dessert before dinner. Should I?

Growing up, my family lived by the standard “no desserts before dinner” rule that every child under 15 knows all too well.

Now that I’m 23 and living on my own, when I decide to skip the veggies and sink my teeth into a deliciously moist bite of double chocolate cake with fudge frosting, should I be rebuked? Should my mother fly to Texas from her cozy Florida home and put me in Time Out?

Of course not, and for one simple reason: being 23 and living exactly 984 miles away from my parents is a pretty good indicator that I’m not a child anymore.

But what does that mean for all the childhood rules I grew up with?

Why Do We Have Rules?

Life is a series of choices. Facing adulthood means facing a lot of deep questions that you don’t know how to answer. For the first time, it’s actually up to you to answer them. Mom and Dad aren’t here to take away your cake.

That’s why we have rules.

Traditions and rules are a necessary part of a productive life. Having solid routines in place can help free a lot of brain space when deciding what’s for lunch or what time you should get up in the morning.

And they’re not just for simple routines, either. Society even gives us a general “life template” to follow: go to school, go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids, repeat.

This is often what people refer to as “the status quo.” And let me be clear: there is nothing wrong with following it.

But following a rule just because it’s there is not only silly, it’s downright absurd.

Each rule is made for a reason. Each is crafted to fit a specific situation. That means not every rule will apply to every situation, and not every rule will apply to you. In fact, many rules contradict each other!

Things change. Times change. People change. You change. And if your rules don’t change too, you run the risk of holding yourself back from fulfilling your unique purpose.

How to Break the Rules (Wisely)

So what exactly am I proposing? Throwing everything out and making up your own rules as you go along?

I guess that’s one way to do it, but it doesn’t seem much healthier than blindly following rules without question. You want to forge your own path, not get lost in the woods.

What I’m actually suggesting is this:

As you grow and change, as you’re faced with hard choices and possible new paths to walk, carefully revisit the old rules you feel are “holding you back.” Examine them, but don’t throw them out just yet.

Instead, use wisdom and prudence to carefully craft a new, revised set of rules that will help you reach your goal and become the person you want to be.

Here’s how:

1. Understand Why a Rule Exists

As I mentioned before, rules are created for a reason. And no, that reason usually isn’t “wanting to ruin your fun.”

Most rules are put in place either to:

1. Protect you from something harmful

2. Push you toward something good

It’s likely that, as you grow and mature, specific rules themselves will no longer apply. Why? Because you have the wisdom and resources to either avoid a particular harm or partake in a particular good without needing a reminder.

Adults are allowed to eat dessert first.

But before you do, it’s wise to understand exactly what you’re giving up (or gaining) in the process. The dessert rule was set for a reason. In this case, to protect you from something that could hurt you.

Your parents didn’t want you losing your appetite, refusing to eat nutritious food, and becoming malnourished.

That’s easy deduction.

However, we can still dig a little further. Rules are often much more complex than we think, and they serve many different purposes at once. There are more benefits to giving dessert its proper place.

Prioritizing healthy food will improve your self image. It will also make your dessert taste better. And the small act of delaying gratification can build character and help you become a generally balanced and generous person.

There’s a surprising amount of depth and character development to be found in such a simple rule! And it’s these motivations that comprise the spirit of the rule.

What fundamental parts of your character is the rule shaping?

2. Examine your needs

Now that you understand the motivations behind the rules you’re questioning, ask yourself: what do you want or need?

It’s tempting to throw rules out because they’re inconvenient, or don’t give you what you want now. Beware of this tendency—it lurks within all of us. If you’re taking on the responsibility of writing your own rule book, you’re also taking on the responsibility to do so… well… responsibly.

You may have a very good reason to nix the no-cake-before-dinner rule.

“I’ve realized I have an unhealthy fascination with diet strictness. My perspective on food has taken the enjoyment out of eating, and limiting my food choices is encouraging me to under eat. I need to feel free to eat anything I want for a while.”

That’s a good reason for change!

“I’m an adult, gosh darn it. I can do what I want, and what I want to do is eat cake.”

That’s an excuse.

Take time to understand what you want and need for your life. Evaluate which of your desires are legitimate and which are excuses.

3. Create new rules

Now put it all together.

Creating new rules haphazardly is a surefire way to wind up unhealthy and unproductive. You have no basis to know whether that rule will actually help you achieve your goals!

Don’t just throw out your old rules. Update them. The best way to create rules that work for you is to reconcile the wisdom of the past with your desires for the future.

For example, I find that when I eat my chocolate cake is irrelevant. But I know myself and my tendency to go back for just another bite (or ten). So I made my new rule: I am allowed to eat my cake before dinner if I want, but I’ve limited myself to eating only one “treat” per day.

This keeps me generally healthy (following the spirit of the original rule) while allowing me the freedom I desire to eat cake before dinner on a bad day.

How can you create something that solves your needs without throwing out the wisdom of the rule in the first place? Get creative!

This may mean admitting an old rule really is the best way to go and keeping it in your life. It may look like chucking the old rule out entirely. Or it may mean updating an old rule in a way that better serves your personality and your life.

Knowing why you’re following a tradition, trend, or rule is important. Not only does this line of thinking challenge you to truly understand your values and goals, but it will also give you an extra dose of confidence when the naysayers inevitably call you out.

You didn’t make your choice arbitrarily. You’re not blindly following in someone else’s footsteps.

You’re using their footsteps as a guide to help you forge your own path—one you believe in and that will help you reach your fullest potential.

This philosophy is at the core of how we here at Pearson approach education...we're always learning better ways to do things! If you’d like to find out how forge your own path and do college differently, check out our Accelerated Pathways program.